Tuesday, June 30, 2009

What a Difference a Day Makes...

...Well, 21 actually. I just logged in and realised that it has been 3 weeks to the day since I last posted, and after reading through my last post, I hardly recognise it as me, and yet I remember writing it through tears. I can't believe how completely different I feel.

I remember Seaneen saying once that if you feel suicidal try to ride it out for just one month - chances are, you would have changed your mind by then. It's so true. I'm not saying that I wanted to kill myself and that I've been waiting for a month to pass, I'm just saying that 3 weeks ago I would never have imagined I could feel as different as I do today. This is probably the best I have felt in at least 7 years.

In fact, I'm in such a positive place right now that I'm scared of losing it or spoiling it in some way. For the first time since Mr Man's first admission into hospital, I'm at peace, and I want to stay at peace. For this reason I have decided that I won't be writing in my blog for the time being. Although I have struggled to update my blog regularly for quite some time now, I never thought I would stop writing it completely. But dwelling on past experiences has not allowed me to let go of the anger I have felt over certain events, and although I desperately wanted to share them with the world, I now feel that it's time to move on. Of course, never say never. This is perhaps a "See you later" rather than a "Goodbye".

Thank you all for reading, and especially those who have taken the time to comment. The blog will remain and I hope that others will continue to benefit from it.


Anonymous said...

You're a strong person. And I believe you can do good to the world. Lucy

Mr Mans Wife said...

Thank you Lucy. I'm not sure if I can change the world, but I hope my blog helps the individuals that read it.

Managing Schizophrenia Blog said...

i am paranoid schizophrenic and have been doing well lately. it's nice to read from someone who's also trying to deal with schizophrenia. i've never really seen the perspective of the person who is caring for the schizophrenic, like me. so thanks. may you have God's blessing..

- amae

Managing Schizophrenia Blog

WowoJeans said...

Just found your blog and while I see you are taking a breather... I had to sign on as a follower so I can read some more previous posts. I too am a wife of a wonderful man who has schizophrenia. I have felt so alone and... well, alone in my experiences... thanks for giving me much to think about!!