Monday, June 18, 2007

Some Updates

The daughter of the man mentioned in my post entitled “Helpless” managed to get her Dad to the Community Mental Health Day Hospital last week, and he saw a psychiatrist there. His medication has been changed, and his daughter bought him a mobile phone so that she can ring him daily. Despite having a full time job and being a single parent with two children to look after, she has realised that she now has to take control of his care, and has decided to go with him to all of his appointments.

The strain of the previous weeks events, coupled with the realisation of her responsibilities as her Fathers carer, finally took its toll on her over the weekend, and she broke down in tears. I spoke to the new* Carer Support Worker at the CMHT today to get some support for her.

Funnily enough, the first question I was asked was “Who is her Dads Care Co-ordinator?” I don’t understand why people who actually work in mental health automatically presume that people always have access these services, when they know full well that these services are limited and many people are going without. Anyway, the lady said she would look into the matter and find out why he doesn’t have a CPN, and also contact the daughter to offer her support.

In other news…
Mr Man is doing exceptionally well at the moment. He keeps surprising me by taking on more and more responsibilities.

In my last update I wrote that as well as attending Table Tennis practice regularly, he was also taking part in the Summer League and helping out with coaching. Despite the Summer League and the coaching being held on the same night, and thus taking him out of the house for 4 ½ + hours on that night, he seems to be coping with that very well. He has also started going to practice twice a week now instead of just once a week, and this week he has decided to go to coaching nights twice a week as well! That will take him out of the house four times a week!

His offer of redesigning the club website has been accepted, which now means he is a member of the Clubs Committee, and last week he attended a Committee meeting. After the stress of having to speak up at the meeting about his plans for the website, he began to feel very unwell and the voices started becoming very intrusive. He excused himself and sat in the locker room for a while and had a drink, and then returned when he felt able to. Obviously he is still having problems from time to time but he is coping with his symptoms much better now.

And finally, Mr Man has also been asked to Captain his team next season. It seems that since it was announced at the Committee meeting that Mr Man will be able to save the club nearly £200 a year in hosting fees, he has become flavour of the month!

*This new position is something I had been meaning to write about for ages. I suppose now it is a topic for my new blog.


Roses said...

That brilliant that Mr Man is doing so well.

Sounds rough for the daughter. Single parent with 2 kids, that's a heck of a lot she's got on her plate. My heart goes out to her.

Anonymous said...

I felt really uplifted to hear of Mr. Mans newest endeavours! Good for him...I wish him and you so much good. You both deserve it.

I also think it was so kind of you to advocate for this other young woman. What a blessing to the world you are! Bravo


Mr Mans Wife said...

Thank you Roses and Laurie, I have passed on your kind comments to Mr Man.

I agree Roses, the daughter has a lot on her shoulders at the moment. I don't feel like I did very much to help her though Laurie, I just passed the responsibility onto someone else really. But hopefully the Carer Support Worker will have a better chance of accessing services for both the daughter and her Dad.

Thank you both for your comments, and thank you for your compliments Laurie! :) (You might have changed your mind if you had seen how snappy I’ve been the last couple of days!)

Slurry said...

That is great news to hear about MrMan and so chuffed for you both.

And pleased it sounds like the guy in your post might get some help.

Ahh well back of to watch agreat storm.

Mr Mans Wife said...

Thanks Slurry, I'm chuffed as well :)

And one great bit of news that I keep forgetting to mention is that because he keeps getting all hot and sweaty he changes his clothes more often now too! :)

And wasn't that a great storm?

Karma said...

Hi there,

I have just finished reading this blog from start to finish over the last couple of days. Although there were many, many individual posts that I wanted to leave comments on I felt it best just to wait until I'd read up to date and start to leave comments from now.

You have a very obvious natural talent for writing which I thought you deserved to be commended on.

More importantly though, you are a truly remarkable person. It's clear from the things you say that you don't really believe this, just trust me *grins*. I know I am not the only person who can tell this about you from what you have shared with us.

Your relationship is an inspiration. I know the love that you have because I am one of those people lucky enough to also live with true love in my life. You put what that means into words so well though.

Mr Man sounds like an amazing person, you are very lucky to have each other and reading this last post made me smile a huge smile when I see the progress he is making socially. I only know of him here and I feel extremely honoured that I do. I feel honoured and humbled to know what I do of both of you in fact.

I really hope you find the time and the emotional energy to continue sharing your story up until now. I read a few times that you find it hard to revisit those more difficult times in the past but by sharing them you are providing great insight and education to many people about the reality of schizophrenia.

I apologise that this has been such a long comment and now wonder if I should have made it an email to save taking up so much of your blog. I hope it's OK that I post it here.

One last thing, I begin my journey into mental health nursing as my vocation in August this year and I am making a promise to myself and anyone that I will work with that I will always strive to provide the best possible care that I can to my patients. I will always remember what I have learned from you and thank you for allowing me to have this in my mind as I start my new journey. I will NEVER overlook a carer and I fully understand that they are one of the best ways to assess what patients need.

I will be passing your blog to my fellow classmates and recommending that they also begin their course with what you have to teach firmly held in their minds. I think everyone who works in the mental health profession would benefit from reading your blog and those like them.

Thank you!!


(I'm so sorry, this has turned into a bit of a novel!!!)

Mr Mans Wife said...

Karma, thank you so much for your comments. I don't really know what to say; you have left me quite speechless. Of course I have to agree with you that Mr Man is an amazing person :)

I'm glad you've enjoyed reading my blog, and I will try to get back to writing "our story".

I really hope your training goes well. (Maybe later on down the line you'll be correcting me on a few things!)

Thanks again Karma.

Slurry said...

It was a truely amazing storm, just sat watching it the windows for a few hours, I really do like watching them roll in, of the north downs. Got kind of interupted by a friend who is not to well at the moment, putting a dead squirel on my door step as a present, I was not to chuffed and asked her to remove it before having a coffee with her.

Mr Mans Wife said...

Both Mr Man and I like watching storms as well. And we both love snow.

I'm sorry to hear that your friend is not too well at the moment. I'm glad she has an understanding friend such as yourself to talk to.

Slurry, could you email me please? I would like to ask you something.

Slurry said...

I have dropped you a email, hopefully it sent it, if not letme know?

Mr Mans Wife said...

Yes, I received it, thank you very much. Have you not received my reply?

Slurry said...

Not as yet, my email does play up from time to time, so maybe send it again? Quite a few people cant seem to get a reply through sadly.

Slurry said...

Not to worry, you got spamed, buy my inbox, so got it now.

sassy said...

I am not surprised to hear the daughter of the man you mentioned ended up in tears. Carers are driven to despair through lack of support to both their loved one and their self. Some professionals do not realise or understand what it's like trying to support someone with schizophrenia, I have lost count of how many carers I have met have almost been driven over the edge their selves fighting the system to get the care needed for their relative, more often than not falling upon deaf ears.

I often wonder what happened to early intervention and crisis teams. Although it is heartening to read the post from the student nurse here, perhaps the newer generation of nurses will come in with an open mind and be more aware of what it's like on the receiving end by reading post and site such as this.

On to you post Mrs Man: Mr Man sounds so much like my son, I noticed you mentioned in a previous post that they are around the same age. My son is also captain of the disability football team he attends! Although he is not into website building he is not over interested in computers, but loves everything to do with sport. Stayed up until 3.30am this morning with my brother, just to watch a live boxing match on sky, then stayed in bed until this afternoon!

Mr Man is very lucky to have you to love him and care for him, my son was engaged when he first became ill at the age of 22, his relationship did not survive this. Which has always made me feel sad.

I just live in hopes that one day he will meet someone who will care about him as much as you do your husband

Mr Mans Wife said...

Sassy, thank you so much for your comment. It is so true that many professionals don't seem to understand what it is like for those trying to care for someone with Schizophrenia or other mental health problems. I hope you are right that the new generation of nurses will be more understanding, and yet I dare say their hands will be tied just as the previous generation of nurses.

I'm sorry that your sons relationship didn't work out, that must have been very hard for him. As his mother it's only natural that you want to see him happy and settled with someone. I'm sure one day he will find the right girl for him, someone who sees past his illness and appreciates his unique qualities.