Tuesday, March 06, 2007


He finally “got it”. Mr Man has been suffering from high levels of anxiety for so long and his CPN just kept telling us “It’s normal to suffer a certain amount of anxiety” and “Just keep doing it (whatever was causing the anxiety) and it will get easier”. Well, a few weeks ago we were getting ready to go to a friends’ house for dinner and Mr Man started throwing up due to his anxiety. And now Mark finally gets it. He finally understands what we mean when we tell him that what Mr Man suffers from is not a “normal” level of anxiety. He finally agreed to speak to Mr Man’s Psychiatrist about possibly changing his Diazepam to something else. Finally. But did it really have to come to this?

Generally speaking, Mark seemed much more human than usual during his last visit. I usually find it difficult to take him seriously for two reasons: one is that he looks like he ought to be a group member from The Village People; and two is that it’s difficult to take someone seriously when you feel like they haven’t got a clue. But this time, instead of handing out useless pieces of advice like colour swatches at a “blind” convention, he actually asked questions, and more importantly, he listened to and accepted what we had to say regarding Mr Mans anxiety. Finally.

After explaining how upset we were about the cutbacks at the respite home, he addressed the issue of my carers assessment and asked me: “Is this why you want a carers assessment? Are you hoping that once your needs are recognised they will be met?” I agreed that this was the case and he simply replied with “They won’t be. The services just aren’t available”. He then went on to explain how they are expecting many more thousands of pounds to be taken away from these services, and job losses too. No wonder he didn’t seem so cocky that day. “I feel a letter of complaint coming on” I said*, “Please do” he replied. I actually felt like we were on the same side for once. Finally.

Before he left, Mark still felt the need to advise Mr Man not to let his recent experience make him give up trying to go out, which Mr Man rather resented. He obviously still doesn’t appreciate how hard Mr Man tries to fight these feelings. Every week he forces himself to go out to play Table Tennis, and he physically shakes so much that even the other team members have started to comment on it. But he still goes, week after week. I’m very proud of him.

Maybe one day Mark will be too. Finally.

*This was nearly 3 weeks ago but as mentioned in my previous post I have been avoiding writing this letter until now.


slurry said...

Sounds like it is the same the country over, about 20 years ago when I was a mere toddler there used to be just in this little corner of the county 1400 mental health beds now we are down to 36, whats happened to everyone i ask? I had the "do good brigade" around today for my weekly vist, otherwise known as the CMHT and they are trying to work on my anxity, I find it hard to go shopping and terrorfied of most things in the kitchen, and they dont seam to grasp it to much, a great help i have found is oxasepam and foucusing on that its the deluisons which cause the problem, I came to realise this myself and when i pointed it out to them they claimed merit for it, but whatever make yout ick i suppose. I have had a few phone calls about the letters I sent and there is such a great feeling when you know it is going to cause problems which they cant ignore for my shrink who has been a total plum and there is now nothing he can do, phase one of the plan complete!! Glad MrMans CPN seamed more human, I knwo what you mean about them tho, why do they all dress as they do?? maybe something to take over on to the MentalNurse forum!! hope your both doing good!!

Catherine said...

Well done for Mr Man that he continues to fight it out! As someone who has considerable amounts of anxiety myself, I know how tough it can be. Kudos to him =)

As for Mark, I don't know what to say. Maybe this display of - what should I call it? humanity? - will be the start of a change in things to come.

Mr Mans Wife said...

Ooh Slurry, sounds like your letters are ruffling a few feathers already! Can't wait to hear about phase two!

Yeah, I wondered what those from Mental Nurse would make of that comment too! I believe some of them pop over here from time to time, and OSB has been known to comment on here before, so we shall see!

Catherine, on behalf of Mr Man, thank you for your kudos. :)

I'm thinking maybe Mark has decided to pull his socks up as so many are losing their jobs. He must know by now that we have asked for a change in CPN so he probably realises that we're not entirely happy with him (although I've never told him to die before!)

Slurry said...

"although I've never told him to die before!" Saving that one for next time?

Angela said...

It's good that he's finally clicked on and is doing something about it. He probably felt he had to advise Mr Man not to let his experiences stop him trying to go out, he's not been able to help much in other ways and probably felt he had to offer some kind of advice.

And as for looking like one of The Village People? You could always close your eyes when you're talking to him!

Mr Mans Wife said...

Lol, it depends how upset I get Slurry!

I agree Angela, you know these types, they like to feel useful and always feel like they need to offer advice even if there's nothing they can really say.

Yeah, he doesn't look like a particular one, but he definitely looks like he would fit in. Maybe a cross between David Hodo (the builder) and Eric Anzalone (the biker)? And you shouldn't read anything into the fact that I know their names! I just looked the group up on google!

slurry said...

My CPN dresses well weird, it must be something in there make up, like GP receptionists! Things all going well, I have managed to get my GPs on my side and my consultant is really not happy, I have had him for 6 yrs and he is wondering why I have left it till now to challenge him, he cant see whats up, he is arrogant and narrow minded, and needs to be taken down a peg or two, its like a one woman battle, but it will be woth it when i win the war! I will explain more about it all when i have time.
PS castshould come off tommorow!!

Mr Mans Wife said...

Lol Oooooh! Nothing like getting a lowly GP involved to upset a psychiatrist! I have an experience of this of my own, but it's much further along in "our story" so I'll save that for now.

Well Slurry, after all these months I've finally found out that you're a woman! In all this time you have never hinted one way or the other!