tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-336150812024-03-07T04:32:59.684+00:00The Wife of a SchizophrenicA brief explanation of Schizophrenia, its affect on our marriage, and our experiences with mental health services.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.comBlogger110125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-17480520909274078252012-11-14T02:34:00.000+00:002012-11-14T02:34:55.361+00:00'Catastrophic failings' in schizophrenia care<br />
<span class="byline"><span class="byline-name"><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20300506">'Catastrophic failings' in schizophrenia care</a></span></span><br />
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<span class="byline"><span class="byline-name">By Jane Dreaper</span><span class="byline-title"> </span></span><br />
<span class="byline"><span class="byline-title">Health correspondent, BBC News</span></span><br />
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<span class="byline"><span class="byline-title"> I'm so pleased someone has noticed. </span>
</span>Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-7591270625632322552012-10-05T05:49:00.000+00:002012-10-05T05:49:09.473+00:00Abuse in Mental Health Care? Surely Not!<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-19836287">The BBC's Focus on Africa TV programme has uncovered a number of abuses
in a mental health institution in the Ghanaian capital, Accra. </a><br />
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When asked why the conditions were so poor, the Medical Director replied that hospitals are seriously challenged - financially, logistically, and so on, and that what you are seeing is probably the best that you can get under the circumstances. He also added that Mental Health services have not been a priority.<br />
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And why would they be? It's easy to neglect vulnerable people when no one cares about them. Who will notice? Especially when they have been dropped off by a family member and abandoned. What chance do they have of recovery? <br />
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Doris, who manages her mental health with the support of family says: "You need a family to accept the person. You need a family to show them love."<br />
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And sadly, in a world that stigmatises mental health issues, and where vulnerable people are abused or neglected, they also need a family that will protect them, even from mental health "care" at times.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-24200823819065146862012-09-23T04:17:00.001+00:002012-09-23T04:17:51.496+00:00While You Were Sleeping...Ok, so, I've been away for a while. Yes, you've probably noticed that I don't post anywhere near as often as I used to, but I check in on other blogs even less often than that. So tonight I am awake (for a change), and bored, and curious, so I clicked on a few links in my side bar. And what do I find? That blog land is not how I left it! It's like returning to an abandoned memory and finding there is nothing even remotely familiar about it at all!<br />
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First I find that Random Acts of Reality doesn't even exist any more, NeeNaw is off-line, and <a href="http://mindriddles.blogspot.co.uk/">Mike</a> hasn't posted for 2 years after finding out that a fellow blogger was facing execution in Iran! And what the hell happened to Mental Nurse?<br />
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Some good things have happened though: lovely <a href="http://thesecretlifeofamanicdepressive.wordpress.com/">Seaneen</a> is getting <i>married!</i> (Congratulations!) And <a href="http://pavlovscouch.com/">Shiv</a> has bought himself a couch and become a Psychology student!<br />
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Wow. I suppose I really need to clean up my blogroll... another day maybe... I just need to take a little nap...<br />
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<br />Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-48919896089786122592012-09-22T02:55:00.000+00:002012-09-22T02:55:10.653+00:00TraumaI just listened to <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19627787">this very short snippet</a> from an interview with David Nutt on BBC Radio 4's "The Life Scientific", and suddenly I couldn't stop crying.<br />
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It just seemed to come from nowhere, as it often does whenever anyone mentions the word "trauma".<br />
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I've never actually been allowed to talk about what happened to Mr Man in hospital and how it made me feel. Even my counsellor didn't want me to focus on that, but to talk about my mundane everyday problems, such as paying bills and getting enough "me time". Maybe that's why it is still effecting me 10 years later. No one wants to hear it. "That was all in the past", "It's time to move on!", "It doesn't help you to keep focusing on that". But what if you can't help it? What do you do when only one word brings everything back?<br />
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You know, she did say one thing that could actually be true though, although I didn't want to accept it at the time. She said that she thought my problems stemmed from my childhood. Why do I now believe that could be true? Because I watched my Dad nearly die while he was having a convulsion when I was too young to understand what was going on, and I wasn't allowed to talk about that either. No one asked me how it made me feel. It was like it never happened. I can't tell you how frightened I was as I knelt by his side, sobbing, and no one explained to me what was happening.<br />
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I felt as helpless in 2002 as I did back then. I was so scared. Like a little girl again. I thought the person I loved most in the whole world was going to die. And people behave like it never happened.<br />
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At least with my Dad I remember nurses and people running in and out and doing everything they could to save him. But with Mr Man they didn't care. It was like kneeling by his side, sobbing, while he convulsed on the floor, vomiting and turning blue, and no one doing anything to help him.<br />
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I wish you could see me sobbing right now, because there are no words to explain the pain, the fear, the desperation. There are no words at all. Only tears.
Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-50192986886276772732012-07-08T04:19:00.001+00:002012-07-08T04:19:30.922+00:00One Law For One...Unfortunately I still have days where I want to round up all those who were involved in Mr Man's "care", particularly during 2002, and tie them up and gag them, slap them around the head a bit, and tell them how stupid they are, and just generally rant and rave until I've exhausted my rage. I thought I had recovered, but there are still triggers.<br />
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Unfortunately it's illegal to do things like that, even to really stupid people who deserve it. Even to people who have caused suffering to others, like they did. It would be fine if I was a doctor though. Then I could legally hold them against their will and cause them all sorts of suffering.<br />
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You see, if I was a doctor, I could intentionally cause a person to suffer by giving them medication with painful side effects, and refuse to change them, and even smirk when the wife begs me to relieve her husband's suffering. And that is legal.<br />
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I could even enforce the giving of those tablets against the patient's will, even if they don't actually help their medical condition at all. I could probably get away with that for about two months by saying I had to give them a fair chance to see if they would help.<br />
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Or I could deliberately prolong their mental suffering by hindering their
diagnosis, by inventing weird and wonderful theories as to why they are
ill, or pretending to be ill. No one would ever know that I was just playing a game, and I could get away with that one for at least six months. <br />
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If I was a nurse I could mentally and emotionally abuse the patients. No one would believe them because "they're mental" - paranoid, and delusional. And family members are just "over protective".<br />
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Or if they needed medical attention for something physical, and I was supposed to arrange tests, I could let them suffer longer and just say it slipped my mind because we're so busy. I could probably get away with that for weeks.<br />
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If I knew that a patient was already a high suicide risk, I could bully that person to increase their anxiety, so that they try to take their own life, and I would be completely irreproachable.<br />
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Also, I could "inadvertently" cause someone's death through
neglect, you know, like if I was supposed to check on them every 15 minutes but didn't bother. I might have to
go to court, but I wouldn't have to go to prison. I could just say we were understaffed or something.<br />
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But seeing as I'm not a doctor or a nurse, it would be illegal for me to cause pain and suffering to those who did all these things to Mr Man and others. So they get away with it, and probably continue doing it. And ten years later I'm still left struggling to come to terms with the injustice of it all.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-80158311390249338742011-10-22T22:13:00.003+00:002011-10-22T23:48:29.376+00:00Men Vs WomenI read a long time ago on <a href="http://thesecretlifeofamanicdepressive.wordpress.com/">Seaneen's blog</a> that men are more likely to receive a diagnosis of Bipolar, whereas a woman is more likely to be diagnosed with a personality disorder, or told to pull themselves together (this is not a direct quote). I'm here to tell you today that this is absolutely true.<br /><br />I suffered quite severe mood swings when Mr Man was in hospital, and for quite a few years afterwards as well. I would swing from feeling completely elated, like my heart would burst with love and joy, to feeling that heavy crushing pain in my chest, with unimaginable emotional anguish. I was confused. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I kept a mood diary and went to speak to my GP.<br /><br />My GP literally dismissed how I was feeling with "We all feel like that" before I had even finished my sentence. He obviously wasn't going to take me seriously, so I dropped it.<br /><br />I struggled on until eventually it got too much for me again. This time I spoke to a lovely nurse at the surgery, who unfortunately could do nothing to help me, but she took me seriously and urged me to see a different doctor. This time the doctor listened to me, but explained that we all suffer from mood swings (sound familiar?) of varying levels. He refused to increase my anti-depressants, but referred me for counselling, which I never received.<br /><br />Fast forward another year or so, and I saw yet another GP who increased my medication and I finally got some counselling.<br /><br />During this time Mr Man frequently spoke about how concerned he was about me to his Occupational Therapist, because he too had noticed my mood swings, and particularly my "angry phase" when I literally wanted to kill people. I can speak about this now that I have recovered, but at the time I was so ashamed, and I didn't think people would believe me or take me seriously. Well... they didn't did they?<br /><br />Looking back, I now know that I definitely wasn't suffering from Bipolar. I didn't really believe I was at the time, but I was just so confused about what was happening to me. Post Traumatic Stress also causes mood swings, which is what I now believe I was suffering from, but of course no doctor will ever concede that. For the most part I have had to struggle through it on my own, and yes, considering the amount of times I asked for help, and the amount of times Mr Man asked for help for me, I am bitter about this.<br /><br />Of course, it would all be very different if I was a man. Now don't get me wrong; I am not a feminist, and I don't usually go along with all this "Men Vs Women" baloney, and "Men are from Mars" etc. etc. But, I know of men who have "achieved" the Bipolar status, by simply being... Well, I can't actually think of a polite way of saying it.<br /><br />Now, I'm not saying that I wanted to be diagnosed with Bipolar - far from it. I simply wanted to understand what was wrong with me and to get help for it. But it really winds me up when I struggled so hard for so long to get help and was never taken seriously, when these men who are manipulative control freaks with a bad temper get told "You can't help it, you have Bipolar".<br /><br />Being married to someone with a serious mental health issue, I am usually very sympathetic to others in the same plight, but for the same reason, I cannot tolerate men acting like spoilt children and being excused for their behaviour by their wives or girlfriends (or even ex-girlfriends) because they have "Bipolar". Mr Man has his limitations, but his illness never causes him to behave like a spoilt child.<br /><br />Please correct me if I'm wrong (and I'm sure Seaneen will) but my understanding of Bipolar is that the mood swings are unrelated to daily events in your life? And I don't believe that people with Bipolar use self harm to manipulate the feelings of others? And I always believed that people suffering from Bipolar needed more than just anti-depressants, but mood stabilisers too?<br /><br />To my mind, a diagnosis of Bipolar for these men tells them that they are being taken seriously, and not just being fobbed off with anti-depressants. But it also tells them that it's ok to act like a spoilt child when you don't get your own way, and it's ok to use self harm to manipulate others, or scare them with violence. And again, doesn't this reinforce the idea that people with mental illness are dangerous and violent? When in fact these people are just bad tempered individuals with depression? (Meaning, the bad temper was present already)<br /><br />Two things need to change: a) GP's need to stop diagnosing patients with illnesses which are clearly beyond their expertise, and b) men and women need to be treated equally in the area of mental health. Yes, women are generally more emotional than men, but that doesn't mean we can't have mental illness too! And on that thought - when a GP says "we all have mood swings" do they mean all women, or men and women? And if they mean men and women, why are men told they have Bipolar and women are told "we all feel like that"?<br /><br />I can't say that the counselling I received ever helped with the trauma I was trying to recover from. Even the counsellor preferred to ignore those events and focus on other things in my life. I have slowly recovered with the help of medication, time, and prayer, but it's taken about 9 years.<br /><br />I can't possibly have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress though - because I'm a woman.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-8043580507783090252011-06-04T12:07:00.002+00:002011-06-04T12:16:47.257+00:00Another Call for HelpFollowing the post "A Call for Help" I received a comment from another lady struggling to cope with her sick husband and the situation it had placed her in.<br /><br /><blockquote>I also don't know what to do anymore, after three years struggling with my husband's sickness. I'm from Asia, well-educated, but was forced to move to Europe (in a matter of two days) because of his sickness. I basically abandoned everything I had for him.<br /><br />But after three years, on top of his sickness, my troublesome mother-in-law is constantly causing problems by demanding way too much attention from her son all the time and bad-mouthing me whenever she can. My husband loves me, but he doesn't see what his mother is doing to me. He needs his family, he said, and his mother loves him and pampers him like a child all the time.<br /><br />I am depressed and at the end of my strength. I lose my temper very easily these days. My friends and family are all in Asia. And here I can hardly have an independent life due to language barrier and qualification mismatch. I just want to get myself out of this whole mess. But a divorce will be a huge blow to him... yet I can't see myself living a life like this anymore...<br /><br />I also want to ask, what should I do?</blockquote><br /><br />Anonymous, I really wish I knew what to advise. I'm sorry that life has become so unbearable for you. Unfortunately I have no solution for troublesome mother-in-laws! If he enjoys the attention she lavishes on him, I can see why it would be difficult to convince him to leave - but what about you? Don't you also deserve the attention of your family? Maybe you could reason this way with him.<br /><br />Although he may need additional support due to his illness, it doesn't mean that he can have his own way all the time! Maybe he just doesn't realise how the situation is affecting you?<br /><br />When Mr Man was in hospital I was at breaking point, and so exhausted. He wanted me to visit twice a day. It was hard, but I had to explain to him that although I loved him very much, I also had to look after myself, otherwise I would get to the point where I wouldn't be able to help him at all. It helped that a nurse explained this to him also, and he was very good about me not coming for a day while I got some much needed rest.<br /><br />I think sometimes when you are caring for someone with mental illness, the whole situation can become about them, and how they feel. But it really doesn't hurt to let them know how you feel as well. I used to avoid crying in front of Mr Man, but actually, when I did cry he would look surprised, like he'd only just realised that other people feel distressed over things too, and then he would forget about his own feelings for a little while.<br /><br />So the only thing I can recommend is that you discuss how you feel with your husband. I don't know how ill he is at the moment, but he may surprise you and be stronger than you think.<br /><br />I would also recommend trying to get some support for yourself. You don't say which European country you are in, so I don't know what the services are like where you are, but maybe visit your GP, get some help with your depression, ask to see a counsellor, and ask if there are any support agencies for carers.<br /><br />I really hope this helps.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-57922522381965649012011-05-18T23:31:00.003+00:002011-05-19T00:55:06.166+00:00Post Traumatic StressI saw my Carer Support Worker the other day. I haven't seen her in quite a long time, so there was an aspect of my demeanour which was very noticeable to her - she said I am less angry than before. She's right. I'm not sure when it happened. I suppose it's been a gradual process, but I definitely feel less angry than I did before. On the other hand, I feel I am struggling more with anxiety.<br /><br />Now, I know previously I deleted all the posts relating to my own mental health, or parts of posts where I had described how I felt, but that was mainly due to the confusion I was feeling at the time and the fact that people were trivialising how I was feeling. But there's no point in denying it any longer because it is obvious for all to see - Mr Man has recovered from our ordeal better than I have. Interestingly, my Carer Support Worker tells me that this is not uncommon.<br /><br />I have expressed on this blog before (and then deleted it) that I feel I am suffering from a form of Post Traumatic Stress. Some health workers agree that it is a possibility, whilst others won't even entertain the idea - probably because it would mean admitting the substandard care that Mr Man received, which put his life in danger and which caused me a great deal of anxiety. I don't want to enter into a debate over symptoms and who is right or wrong, but the fact is that I am "not right" and I haven't been "right" since 2002 when Mr Man was admitted. Frustratingly, I still get asked about my childhood. I don't understand how people can think that caring for someone you love, who was in danger of killing themselves at any moment over a period of several years, is not traumatic enough to cause PTS - and especially given that when he was in the care of others I had no way of protecting him and those caring for him didn't take the danger seriously. Honestly? Is it just too obvious to be true? Does it have to be something buried deep within my subconsciousness from my childhood? <br /><br />I watched <a href="http://www.channel4.com/programmes/dolphin-boy">"Dolphin Boy"</a> tonight. Obviously this is an extreme case of Post Traumatic Stress and disassociation, but I could relate to some of the boy's feelings. The rage, the confusion, the avoidance, and the desire to live in a "bubble". It was a long process of four years before he was able to go back home and live a normal life again. My symptoms are obviously much less severe than his, but with no real help to work through my emotions, I am still struggling nine years later. I know I can't be the only one.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-37722712053729083512011-04-09T00:57:00.004+00:002011-04-09T16:12:09.055+00:00The Baby ThingHello again readers. I know my posts have been few and far between for quite a while now. A lot of positive things have happened during that time. Mr Man is now back at work a couple of days a week, and he is driving again! His recovery is going really well, and things are really looking great for him and for us. We're even going on holiday this year!<br /><br />But today I want to talk about the baby thing. A very long time ago a reader asked me how I felt about children and whether I ever wanted any, because for her it was a deciding factor in separating from her husband. Yes, I have wanted children, and this has been a painful issue for me, and not one I was ready to talk about at the time. So why now?<br /><br />Tomorrow we shall be dining with a couple of friends who are expecting their second baby. (Yes, we have a social life now too!) I'm dreading it, and yet only yesterday I was telling friends how glad I am that I don't have children when I hear the struggles that other parents have. That statement is true; I only have to have my nieces and nephews over to know that I couldn't cope with being a full time parent, but I still find it difficult to manage my feelings when friends have babies. I tend to go the other way completely. In an unconscious attempt to manage my broodiness I avoid the subject altogether. I avoid pregnant friends, I avoid baby sections in shops, and I definitely avoid babies. Yes, I'm sure they're beautiful, but I don't really want to look to decide for myself, and I certainly don't want to hold them.<br /><br />Mum's get a bit sensitive when people don't love their babies though don't they? And whilst it's acceptable for a man to completely ignore the fact that a woman is pregnant and not even mention it in conversation, for a woman it is not. And for a<span style="font-style: italic;"> friend</span> to do that?...<br /><br />I've already done it, and I feel awful. One of my closest friends has had a baby recently and I hardly saw her throughout her pregnancy and I still haven't been round to offer my congratulations yet and to hold the baby. Being one of my closest friends, I can only hope that she knows and understands why, without me having to say a word.<br /><br />Anyway, I haven't really explained why we don't have any children have I? Considering we chose our children's names before we even got married, I suppose it must seem a bit strange to some.<br /><br />We had decided that we would enjoy five years together before we started a family. I always had health problems anyway, so it was always questionable as to whether I could cope with a young one. I got broody before the five years were up when I became the last one in my family to not have any children, but I agreed to wait. On our 5th wedding anniversary Mr Man was a patient in the psychiatric hospital. It had been just 3 weeks since his attempted suicide on the ward (which I have not written about in detail yet) and it was time for me to have my contraceptive injection, which I had every 12 weeks. I cried at the appointment, but obviously it wasn't the right time to start a family, and at that point, I didn't know if there ever would be a right time.<br /><br />Later on down the line I became very broody again. In the past I had always said to Mr Man to just let me have my cry and I would get over it, but this time was different. It was the only thing I thought about. I spent sleepless nights crying. I would lie in the bath for hours until the water had gone cold, just lost in my thoughts and day dreams of having a child. Despite his illness, Mr Man agreed for us to try for a baby. But it just didn't happen.<br /><br />Some doctors were helpful and supportive, and some doctors were not. One doctor suggested that if I wanted a family I should leave my husband - without even knowing which one of us was possibly infertile. Another doctor suggested a sperm donor, simply because of the risk of passing on Schizophrenia to our child. I wasn't happy with either of these suggestions, so with the support of our GP we started having investigations into why we were not conceiving.<br /><br />There was quite a wait for those kinds of appointments, so in the meantime we just kept trying. To be honest, it got to the point where I just couldn't cope with the disappointment every month. Every month was the same. I felt like if I just crossed my legs to stop my period from starting that it would mean I <span style="font-style: italic;">had</span> to be pregnant. Some months I was late, and I would convince myself that this was it. I would wait as long as I could possibly bear before buying a pregnancy testing kit - which was never very long at all - only to find that my period had started by the time I did the test. Every month it was the same crushing disappointment.<br /><br />One month was different. I was late, but I was determined not to get my hopes up. Mr Man on the other hand needed to know one way or the other. I took the test, and the result was <span style="font-style: italic;">positive</span>. I wrote about it at the time in my other blog:<br /><blockquote>Mr Man, on the other hand, was impatient for an answer. Saturday night I took a test, but the faint blue line which threw me into panic wasn’t even visible to Mr Man with his glasses in another room and with poor night lighting. He was satisfied enough to get a good nights sleep.<br /><br />I, on the other hand, was awake for a good deal longer, worrying about how he would react once he realised the truth.<br /><br />I had to confess my concerns to him the following day, and after the initial shock and panic had worn off he seemed fine. The line was very faint though, and I needed to be sure. I took another test this morning… actually I’ve taken five in all over this weekend, and the only test to give a positive result was the first one I took, which was what started all this confusion in the first place.</blockquote><br />I can't remember why I was in a panic, considering it was what I had wanted for so long. Mr Man was never very keen though, and only ever agreed to it for my happiness. By the end of this little episode I was an emotional wreck. My period started, and then it stopped again. I didn't know what to think. I was clinging on to every bit of hope there was. Finally my period started properly and I knew it was over. As disappointed as I was, I was also relieved. I couldn't cope with the emotional roller coaster that trying for a baby caused. As strange as it sounds, I actually found it easier to come to terms with the thought of never having a baby than the continual disappointment every month from not falling pregnant. In a way, I gained strength from making the decision to remain childless, instead of the choice being taken from me every month. Besides, Mr Man and I have both suffered relapses since then, and I know we wouldn't cope with the responsibility of raising a child. So I found hobbies.<br /><br />Hobbies? That sounds like such a shallow replacement. But I also enjoy the company of my nieces and nephews as often as I can, and I tell them that I wouldn't be able to love them as much as I do if I had children of my own. I do love my nieces and nephews, and seeing them doesn't cause me pain, only joy. But babies... there's just something about babies.<br /><br />Coping with being childless has meant that my brain has switched off all maternal instincts. I'm not interested in pretty baby clothes, and I find I have to remind myself to even look at the baby and say something nice when I bump into someone I know in town pushing a pram. My brain is obviously trying to protect me, and it does a very good job of it; I hardly ever think about babies these days. But then there are those times when I just can't avoid it, and it's painful. Life would be so much easier if everyone I knew just stopped having babies.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Related post: <a href="http://the-wife-of-a-schizophrenic.blogspot.com/2007/07/under-pressure.html">Under Pressure</a><br /></span>Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-80091011676187271092011-01-06T21:12:00.004+00:002011-01-06T21:50:59.203+00:00A Call for HelpI just received this anonymous comment on the post <a href="http://the-wife-of-a-schizophrenic.blogspot.com/2009/02/why-do-people-stop-taking-medication.html">"Why Do People Stop Taking Medication?"</a> If anyone has any advice for this reader please leave your comments in the comments section below.<br /><blockquote>I don't know where to turn and I cry everyday trying to find help for my brother. You see he was in prison for 18 yrs and when he came out he was on Risperidone. Everything was fine until he stopped taking it. I asked why and his reasons were the weight gain (about 80pds) loss of sexual function and he said his thoughts were not his own. He was not long before seeing a jail cell after stopping his meds. They kept in jail just long enough that his disability was cut off and now he is about to loose his apt. He thinks he is God. He has not had a meal in so long now and I am over a grand in debt trying to cloth and look after him, financially I can do it anymore and don't know what to do. He is now anorexic, if I were to guess I would say he weighs about 120 and he is six feet tall. This weight loss took just 3mths. When he was arrested it was because he was yelling in his apt and so I gather people called because they were afraid. They jailed him for over 2 mths trying to get a bed in the mental ward for an assessment. Well apparently the time ran out for the legal limit of holding him and that was three days after they got him in the hospital and the just released him. Everyone in the family has turned their back on him because they are afraid of him.<br />I don't want to see him end up on the street but what can I do to prevent it. I can't make him take the meds not can I write the letter to disability to get him reinstated. The local mental health association is of no help as I have called the worker that we saw when he first got out. So I am asking here on this forum if anyone has any suggestions.</blockquote><br />Anonymous, is your brother agreeable to seeing a doctor? I'm not sure which country you are in, but I'm pretty sure that in the UK a person can be detained on a psychiatric ward under a section of the mental health act for the treatment of anorexia, as he is obviously a danger to himself (not eating = death). If he will see a doctor then maybe he could have his medication changed to something that doesn't affect his sexual function - Abilify seems to be one that doesn't have this effect. Unfortunately I think many, if not all, antipsychotics increase weight gain. Of course, although these side effects were the original reason for him stopping his medication, there is now the added problem that he probably doesn't believe he even needs them anymore, since he believes he is God.<br /><br />Just out of curiosity, has he said why he won't eat? Or is it simply that he doesn't take care of himself? Either way, this is a burden too heavy for you to carry alone. Is there an advocacy service where you live? Any doctors surgery should be able to give you the details of one. They should be able to advise you on how best to get help for your brother, and may even make calls etc. for you. I hope this helps.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-18845321596870611982010-03-13T18:32:00.006+00:002010-03-13T23:25:05.712+00:00Dark Days<span style="font-style: italic;">Continued from <a href="http://the-wife-of-a-schizophrenic.blogspot.com/2007/11/truth-revealed.html">"The Truth Revealed"</a></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">June 2002</span><br /><br />Things were so different in the psychiatric hospital than they were in the psychiatric ward in the general hospital. It was like stepping into another world. On the psychiatric ward where Mr Man had been for his first 3 weeks, the staff mixed freely with the patients. They chatted, they drank coffee together, they went for walks in the grounds, and they played board games. In the psychiatric hospital the staff always seemed to be cooped up in the staff room, engrossed in conversation with other staff members, and not in any mood to be disturbed. Don’t be mistaken; I don’t mean that they were busier, or that they took their role more seriously, far from it. They were engrossed in conversation about their <i>own</i> concerns - laughing, joking, and playing computer games. Whether you were a patient or a visitor, you were met at the staff room door with the same level of contempt.<br /><br />Occasionally staff ventured into the lounge where the patients would be watching the TV. Two staff members would sit chatting openly with each other. One would be nodding and rolling her eyes as the other complained about having to buy a new hamster for her 8 year old “<i>and these lot think <b>they’ve</b> got problems</i>” as if somehow it compared. The rest of the room would be silent. Or sometimes a member of staff would be standing, as if sitting with patients would somehow contaminate her. “<i>Stop shaking!</i>” she would scold one of the patients, as if the patient had any control over her state of anxiety.<br /><br />The male staff wouldn’t mix so much. They patrolled the corridors, looking for some “mischief” to correct. “<i>You can’t sleep in here</i>” they would say to Mr Man, as he sat with his head in his hands in the quiet room, fully awake, although drugged to the eyeballs.<br /><br />Of course, I didn’t see all these things immediately, but I was fully aware that the atmosphere was just different somehow. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was just… wrong.<br /><br /><br />It was the morning of Mr Mans first team meeting in this hospital. On the other ward Mr Man and I would go in to see the team together, and I had once gone in to see the team alone. But here, when I asked to speak to the doctor first the nurse seemed shocked, as if nothing like it had ever happened before. She made such a fuss that you’d think I had just asked for the doctors head on a plate (which, in hindsight, I wish I had). She didn’t seem to know what to do. She asked Mr Man, who obviously agreed (bearing in mind I made my request in front of him and he had made no objection), and then she scurried off to ask the doctor. She came back, and I was granted an audience with the <strike>king</strike> doctor, although it was most unusual.<br /><br />I entered the room. It was much bigger than the one on the other ward. There were no armchairs or sofas, just upright chairs. The royal court sat in a large circle, and opposite the empty seat sat the king, on his throne. I walked in nervously and sat down. I was overwhelmed by the number of people present, all staring at me. On the other ward there would have been maybe 3 other people, as well as the doctor. But here, it seemed as if the whole ward staff were present. <span style="font-style: italic;">How did mentally unwell people cope with this?</span> I thought. The ward manager, to my left, introduced himself and then one by one he introduced the rest of the team to me. I managed a faint smile and a nod of the head but their faces and names didn’t register; I had something of the utmost importance to tell the doctor, and I was keen to begin.<br /><br />“<span style="font-style: italic;">I wanted to see you because Mr Man has told me something that I know he won’t tell you</span>” I began. “<span style="font-style: italic;">He told me last week that he thinks people are watching him all the time and that there are camera’s everywhere, and he’s admitted that he hears voices as well</span>”<br /><br />My statement was met with silence. Didn't they hear what I had just said? The doctor flicked through Mr Mans notes and finally said: “<span style="font-style: italic;">When did Mr Man first start seeing Dr. Kay?</span>”<br /><br />It wasn’t the response I was expecting. I was thrown “<span style="font-style: italic;">Er… I don’t remember</span>” Why doesn’t he just check the notes? I thought.<br /><br />I babbled on about Mr Man not telling anyone because the voices have told him that they will hurt me if he does. There was still no response.<br /><br />“<span style="font-style: italic;">When did Mr Man first start taking Olanzapine?</span>” he said.<br />“<span style="font-style: italic;">I don’t know</span>” I replied. Why wasn’t he acknowledging anything I said? Was he even listening?<br /><br />“<span style="font-style: italic;">What dose was he taking?</span>”<br />“<span style="font-style: italic;">I don’t remember</span>”<br />“<span style="font-style: italic;">When did he stop taking it?</span>”<br />“<span style="font-style: italic;">I don’t know</span>”<br /><br />My mind was in turmoil, I had just discovered that my husband could be suffering from Schizophrenia and I wanted… no, I <i>needed</i> some assurance that my concerns were being taken seriously. Instead I was bombarded with questions which would be answered if only the doctor would read the notes. Of course, at the time I didn’t even know that Olanzapine was an antipsychotic drug. I wouldn’t even have suspected that he would be given such a medication, as he had never admitted to hearing voices before. The matter seemed urgent to me but no one else, and no one considered how the knowledge had made me feel.<br /><br />The interrogation continued for a while and then finally, with a nod of the head I was dismissed. I left the room feeling that I hadn’t been heard. It wouldn’t be the last time. Not writing notes, not reading notes, and not listening to either Mr Man or myself would become a common problem over the following months.<br /><br />I didn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to be present to support Mr Man when he met with the team. He hadn’t been to a team meeting on his own before, and after my own experience I didn’t hold out much hope of them being compassionate towards him. I sat in the garden, on the same bench Mr Man and I had sat on when he first told me about the cameras. It was a beautiful sunny day, as it often was during those emotionally dark days. As I cried I wondered what would happen – to him, to us – there were so many thoughts and feelings but there are so little words to express them.<br /><br />And then a little bird came and landed beside me on the bench. It didn’t seem afraid of me at all. It was as if it was sent to comfort me. “<i>Have no fear, you are worth more than many sparrows</i>” I thought. And I tried to take courage.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-18097200433139467692009-06-30T23:59:00.004+00:002009-07-01T00:35:00.142+00:00What a Difference a Day Makes......Well, 21 actually. I just logged in and realised that it has been 3 weeks to the day since I last posted, and after reading through my last post, I hardly recognise it as me, and yet I remember writing it through tears. I can't believe how completely different I feel.<br /><br />I remember <a href="http://thesecretlifeofamanicdepressive.wordpress.com/">Seaneen</a> saying once that if you feel suicidal try to ride it out for just one month - chances are, you would have changed your mind by then. It's so true. I'm not saying that I wanted to kill myself and that I've been waiting for a month to pass, I'm just saying that 3 weeks ago I would <span style="font-style: italic;">never</span> have imagined I could feel as different as I do today. This is probably the best I have felt in at least 7 years.<br /><br />In fact, I'm in such a positive place right now that I'm scared of losing it or spoiling it in some way. For the first time since Mr Man's first admission into hospital, I'm at peace, and I want to stay at peace. For this reason I have decided that I won't be writing in my blog for the time being. Although I have struggled to update my blog regularly for quite some time now, I never thought I would stop writing it completely. But dwelling on past experiences has not allowed me to let go of the anger I have felt over certain events, and although I desperately wanted to share them with the world, I now feel that it's time to move on. Of course, never say never. This is perhaps a "See you later" rather than a "Goodbye".<br /><br />Thank you all for reading, and especially those who have taken the time to comment. The blog will remain and I hope that others will continue to benefit from it.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-52778081325671717202009-06-10T13:42:00.007+00:002009-06-11T00:25:58.858+00:00DreadHi. Yes, it's me, the sporadic blogger. I just felt like posting a little update today, partly to get things off my chest I suppose.<br /><br />Things have been, well, y'know, the same. Or worse. I'm not sure. Better actually, because I have been avoiding life like never before. Less anxiety because I haven't been shopping or done any cooking or cleaning or... anything. The cupboards are empty. Mr Man is starving. We've just been living off take-aways. But the counsellor said it's ok to avoid things that cause me anxiety, so that's ok. (?)<br /><br />Well, it did help with my anxiety for a while, but now I realise we have things to pay and I have wasted all our money, so long term it's kind of made things worse. Now I have to go back to managing the anxiety of shopping and cooking with the added anxiety of worrying about money.<br /><br />Some readers suggested ordering shopping online and having it delivered, which was a very good suggestion and I did try, but I had to register and fill in an online form which kind of brought on a panic attack and I haven't tried again since.<br /><br />I feel like a failure. All I can do is apologise to Mr Man over and over again, but it doesn't seem to mean anything. "I'm sorry" doesn't cover it. It doesn't do my feelings justice.<br /><br /><br />I have an appointment with the counsellor again on Friday and I'm absolutely dreading it. I don't want to go because I'm still so upset by <a href="http://the-wife-of-a-schizophrenic.blogspot.com/2009/05/untitled.html">the things she said last time</a>. I don't trust her anymore. She made assumptions about me without even giving me the chance to speak. I expect she thinks I'm trying to blame all my problems on the way Mr Man was treated in hospital in 2002, which I'm not, but she wouldn't know that because she didn't let me explain. It certainly was a major contributor to the anxiety that I was already suffering, but as you readers and other carers will understand, struggling to keep Mr Man safe was traumatic enough. They can't comprehend that. Despite all their training and qualifications, none of them truly know what it's like to try to keep the person you love safe, when they are genuinely suicidal for so many months, or even years. None of them know how hard it is to watch the person you love give up on life and lay in bed in their own urine, refusing to get up, refusing to eat and refusing to drink. None of them know what it's like when the person you love is persecuted every day by frightening hallucinations and there is <span style="font-style: italic;">nothing</span> you can do to protect them from their own mind. And none of them know how it feels to place the person you love into the care of others, only to realise that you have placed them in even more danger. None of them understand these things.<br /><br />I know, I should have recovered from all of this right? Mr Man isn't that poorly any more is he? So why haven't I been able to move on? I don't know the answer to that. And I don't know why it has rendered me useless in every area of life.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Other updates</span><br /><br />Mr Man has been sporadic too. His mind becomes over active and he doesn't sleep for days, and then he burns himself out and sleeps forever. He swings from being a great entrepreneur to being an online gamer who doesn't feel well enough to handle life's responsibilities. He's been very understanding but unable to help me in practical ways. He still starves if I don't cook, and I still have to remind him several times a day to take his medication before he actually takes it.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-80069692999407332262009-05-24T04:42:00.004+00:002009-05-24T06:44:50.032+00:00UntitledYou may (or may not) have noticed that I have deleted some posts and parts of others that contained information about my health and/or depression. Something just snapped in me one night. I felt that my blog had become a very self absorbed pity party and also I felt that some people were not taking my feelings seriously, which made me want to suppress them again and keep them to myself.<br /><br />I almost cancelled my appointment with the counsellor for this reason, but the carer support worker urged me to go, reminding me that these feelings have a habit of resurfacing. I wish I <span style="font-weight: bold;">had</span> cancelled it. I saw this counsellor back in 2005 because I was struggling to come to terms with how Mr Man was treated in hospital, and she was very sympathetic. Four years later I'm having to see her again with the same issues, but this time she told me that she thinks the problem stems from my childhood, that I need "a mother" figure, and that I will probably always need support.<br /><br />To be honest, at the time I was so emotional that her comments just left me confused. <span style="font-weight: bold;">So</span> confused. I couldn't make sense of my thoughts or what she was telling me, how I was feeling or how to express it. The last time I felt that mentally and emotionally confused is when Mr Man was actually in hospital and all these problems began. (At <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> time all I could do was pace the floor and bang my head saying: "Think. Think.") I've been in that confused state for a couple of days now, but now that I'm starting to get my head together I feel angry.<br /><br />Ok, I didn't have an ideal upbringing - who has? - but I like to think that I managed to deal with those issues and put them behind me a long time ago. The fact that I am still struggling to come to terms with the events of 2002 only illustrates how traumatic they were. I constantly felt that Mr Man was in immediate danger of losing his life, and I had to rely on people who couldn't care less to protect him. Their lack of interest caused me unimaginable stress, not to mention the things they did that actually contributed to the worsening of Mr Man's illness. I fail to see how my parents are to blame for the total incompetence and shockingly poor attitude of those doctors and nurses who were supposed to care for Mr Man.<br /><br />Once again I just feel that those people are being excused for their behaviour and that the trauma we have both suffered is not being taken seriously. It's <span style="font-weight: bold;">my</span> fault for being weak, it's my <span style="font-weight: bold;">parents</span> fault because of my upbringing, it's <span style="font-weight: bold;">everybody else's</span> fault except <span style="font-weight: bold;">their</span> fault for being completely unprofessional and not doing their job properly.<span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Once again, I apologise for not responding to emails or comments. Please be assured that I value each one, but I can make no promises to reply any time soon.</span>Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-8884685760666161152009-05-06T02:38:00.003+00:002009-05-06T03:41:53.416+00:00An Interesting StatisticIn light of the recent news coverage of the investigation into the murder of a pregnant woman by a man with Schizophrenia in 2005, the BBC Health Correspondent Branwen Jeffreys has this to say:<br /><br /><blockquote>The number of homicides by people with mental health problems has remained fairly constant at around 50 a year since the 1950s. In the same time frame homicides overall have roughly tripled.<br /><br />The level of public anxiety about the risk of violence from people with mental health problems is measured by the Department of Health in England as part of a wider survey of attitudes. It suggests a third of people think someone with a mental health problem is likely to be violent.<br /><br />The public perception of the risk of random violence from someone with mental health issues appears to be out of step with reality.</blockquote><br /><br />So in the last <span style="font-style: italic;">half a century</span>, although the rate of murder in the general population has roughly <span style="font-style: italic;">tripled</span>, the number of those with mental illness committing murder hasn't changed. It would be interesting to know how many people in the UK are diagnosed with a mental illness compared to the 1950's, but I always find the internet to be a tad over-rated, and I never seem able to find the information I'm looking for.<br /><br /><br />The full article can be found <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8034948.stm">here</a>.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-3804793991226805862009-04-21T23:49:00.008+00:002009-05-10T01:36:28.327+00:00Realisations<span style="font-style: italic;">Some of this post has been deleted</span><br /><br />I've been looking for reasons for why my anxiety has got worse recently. I think one reason is simply that my depression hasn't been under control since September 2007, and anxiety has always gone hand in hand with depression for me. Another reason directly relates to Mr Man. Although he has suffered occasional blips, Mr Man has been doing really well since his medication change last summer, and yes, that has been a cause of anxiety for me. He's doing so well that he is eager to start working again and wants to run his own business from home, but I am aware that his condition can change at any time - as it did a couple of weeks ago - and when it does I have to be ready to support him. Supporting him emotionally is one thing, but supporting him in running his business is something else. As much as I would like to help Mr Man run his business, I just can't cope with that sort of responsibility. Hell, I can't even cope with opening the post every day, and half of that is junk mail.<br /><br />Another reason why his recovery scares me is that ultimately he would like to be able to cease claiming benefits altogether. I worry that the pressure of <span style="font-style: italic;">having</span> to work once his benefits stop will make him poorly again. Maybe if he had been consistently well since last summer I wouldn't worry so much, but although generally he is much better, I have seen a lot of fluctuations during that time. He goes from being very focused with lots of business ideas, to burning himself out and feeling under pressure. I'm just not sure if he is ready for this sort of commitment, and yet I have to let him try because it's what he really wants to do. He has an appointment coming up to see someone at Working Links, so it will be interesting to see what sort of support they can offer him, if any. Of course, any changes in income will mean changes in housing benefit etc. and I'll be the one who has to keep filling in the forms and taking bank statements to the council.<br /><br />I want to see him work because I want to see him happy. I know that he feels ashamed that he's not able to work. But it's just such a huge step. Maybe all of this has been worrying me more than I realised.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-68543438777540548352009-04-13T23:39:00.005+00:002009-04-14T00:21:58.628+00:00Oh CrapAm I allowed to say that? I mean, I know some people are offended by the word, but although <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper">Thomas Crapper</a> didn't actually invent the flushing toilet, he was a plumber and he did make toilets and invented the floating ballcock. So that's probably how toilets came to be known as "the crapper", although it's believed the word "crap" was in use before he was even born, and that the fact that he made toilets for a living was an example of "nominative determinism" whereby a person is more likely to do a job connected to their name. I think it's a load of old ballcock myself - I mean, what kid being laughed at in the playground for having a name that basically means "poo" is going to think to himself "I'll show 'em. I'm gonna do a job connected with poo when I grow up". Nah, I don't buy it.<br /><br />So, if you're offended I apologise.<br /><br />But anyway, before I completely forget the point of my post - I've just discovered that <span style="font-weight: bold;">my "mrmanswife" email address hasn't been working since February</span>. So if you have tried to email me and haven't received a reply I apologise, although to be fair, I'm rubbish at keeping up to date with emails anyway.<br /><br />This will explain why <a href="http://thesecretlifeofamanicdepressive.wordpress.com/">Seaneen</a> was contacted by Radio 4 to have her blog turned into a radio drama and not me! They couldn't get hold of me! (yeah right) A big <span style="font-size:130%;">big</span> congratulations to Seaneen! And make sure you're all listening to Radio 4 on Friday 8th May at 2.15pm.<br /><br /><br />I'll try to get Mr Man to sort my email address out for me as soon as possible.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-10774894243769406582009-04-11T00:27:00.008+00:002009-05-10T01:42:29.579+00:00Not Fine<span style="font-style: italic;">Some of this post has been deleted</span><br /><br />Yesterday Mr Man was "not fine". He was very ill in fact. He was banging his head on his pillow in an effort to get the voices to stop. He didn't even hear me talking to him and seemed unaware of my presence until I put my arm around him. He told me he had to get on with his "work" again, and he had to mark himself with his number - 4064. I was worried that he was going to carve it into his arm with a knife or something. Later he got out "the folder". The folder has paper in it, and that is where he writes his "codes" and things like that - "work" that the voices have given him to do. He hasn't got the folder out since 2004. I couldn't believe his symptoms had deteriorated so much in such a short space of time, but I knew what the trigger was - we were supposed to be going out that evening to commemorate the death of Christ, and he was very anxious about it. Needless to say, we didn't go.<br /><br />Mr Man is still unwell today, but much better than yesterday, and typically he doesn't remember much of yesterday. I say "typically" because it is quite common for Mr Man to be unable to remember periods when he has been acutely ill. He's been a little unwell for a while now though. Just a couple of weeks ago he spoke to his Occupational Therapist about how he was feeling. She was concerned enough to start visiting him every couple of days, and she even gave him her mobile phone number in case of a crisis, but he didn't want to talk to me about how he was feeling. I didn't mind; I understood that he doesn't like me to worry about him, and to be honest I was just glad that he was talking to <span style="font-style: italic;">someone</span> instead of keeping it all to himself.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4e8j7CqmGi7fVgfJ5kA03MbB2m0LSlMqOCYO69bud_k8nyb9SYdPyncCpkdy8TRgwib1hyphenhyphenEhK4MTUXTXjL7KrquHr8L_ZnUuuRb0UbggfCBoj9zmY8Ube0frq9dMq_jS3lbOB/s1600-h/outside+my+window.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4e8j7CqmGi7fVgfJ5kA03MbB2m0LSlMqOCYO69bud_k8nyb9SYdPyncCpkdy8TRgwib1hyphenhyphenEhK4MTUXTXjL7KrquHr8L_ZnUuuRb0UbggfCBoj9zmY8Ube0frq9dMq_jS3lbOB/s320/outside+my+window.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325329304897323762" border="0" /></a><p align="center">"Outside My Window" by <a href="http://www.loadedbrush.me.uk/">Philippa King</a></p>Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-84933596004973958532009-03-07T08:43:00.002+00:002009-03-07T09:00:06.077+00:00Self Prescribing is a Bad IdeaGiven the list of horrendous side effects listed in the previous post, it's easy to see why self prescribing is a bad idea. Although these side effects are extremely unpleasant, other side effects can be fatal, and mixing medications can also be dangerous. It's obviously a good idea then to have a qualified professional monitor your progress on any medication regime.<br /><br />That being the case, I am getting extremely tired of spam posted in the comments section to advertise drugs online. I will not endorse self medication of drugs that clearly need qualified supervision. In this country at least, it is illegal to provide medication without a prescription from a qualified practitioner.<br /><br />One company in particular keeps repeatedly spamming my blog. You would have thought they would get the hint by now, seeing as I always delete their comments.<br /><br />I don't like spam. (I don't like luncheon meat either) It's just so... cheap and nasty.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-10485548573240075192009-02-20T06:00:00.001+00:002009-02-20T18:14:16.069+00:00Why Do People Stop Taking Medication?We have already discussed the fact that violence is not a symptom of Schizophrenia. However, there are those who become so unwell that they are unable to distinguish between reality and their delusional beliefs, which are often fed by hallucinations, and these ones may resort to violence in the belief that it is necessary to protect themselves or others. This is rarer than the media would have us believe, but just like any other animal on this earth, <i style="font-weight: bold;">we all</i> have the capability of becoming violent when we feel under threat. For many suffering from severe mental illness, the greatest risk is suicide.<br /><br />For the most part, once a person is relatively stable on their medication a relapse this severe is unlikely, unless they have stopped taking their medication. Indeed, the one line that seems to crop up time and time again in news reports of this kind is that the person “had stopped taking their medication”. But why? Why do people who know that they will become very unwell without medication, stop taking it?<br /><br />The reasons are probably many and varied, but some of the most common reasons can be:<br /><br />• <span style="font-weight: bold;">Once a person feels well they may wonder if they need medication anymore.</span> Is it unreasonable to think this way? Obviously not, which is why in recent years doctors have felt it necessary to stress the importance of finishing any course of antibiotics – even if you feel well. I think it’s a common mistake that people with a variety of illnesses make, and not one to be judged.<br /><br />Sometimes well meaning friends or relatives can be unhelpful in this regard, suggesting that the person doesn’t appear to have anything wrong with them and that maybe they just need to “try harder”. Such comments can create doubt in a person’s mind as to why they rely on medication. Of course, they appear well <i>because</i> they are on medication.<br /><br />• <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sometimes there are still residual symptoms such as hearing voices</span>, even with medication. Extra stress can make the voices worsen <span style="font-weight: bold;">and they may tell the person to stop taking the medication.</span> It’s easy for us to say “Just say no!” but voices can be very persistent and wear a person down over time. This is something that <a href="http://the-wife-of-a-schizophrenic.blogspot.com/2007/09/mad-art-installation.html">this experience</a> helped me to understand.<br /><br />• Another reason is that <span style="font-weight: bold;">a person may simply forget to take their medication</span>, and once a dose or two has been forgotten they can very quickly begin to lose insight and to doubt that what they are experiencing is part of an illness, leading to the person missing further doses.<br /><br />• <span style="font-weight: bold;">There are other situations where missing a dose or two is unavoidable. </span> Believe it or not, we had problems with medical staff recognising the importance of Mr Man not missing any doses whilst he was in hospital overnight for a minor operation. One excuse was that pharmacy wouldn’t dispense it, even though he had taken his medication in with him. Another excuse was that he was asleep when they were doing their ward rounds. <b style="font-style: italic;">So wake him up!</b> They wouldn’t let other patients miss antibiotics or insulin would they? Thankfully he didn’t miss two doses in a row, as he was taking Clozaril at the time and as mentioned previously, he would have been unable to resume his usual dose if he had. But for some, this disruption in medication can result in an individual losing insight and not resuming their usual medication regime once they return home.<br /><br />• You know what? <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sometimes people just get sick of taking medication</span>, and who wouldn’t? Sometimes people with Schizophrenia have to take an unbelievable amount of medication with <span style="font-weight: bold;">unimaginable side effects</span>. No other person suffering from any other kind of illness would be expected to put up with such side effects, with the exception of those suffering from life threatening illnesses such as Cancer. Do you think I’m exaggerating?<br /><br />Some of the worst side effects that Mr Man has suffered from include:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">* Vomiting.</span> Not just once or twice at the beginning of treatment, but every morning, for months, and often so sudden that he didn’t even get out of bed in time.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">* Diarrhoea.</span> Again, severe and sudden. Not able to get to the toilet in time and sometimes not even out of bed in time.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">* Drooling, drowsiness, and slurred speech</span> are probably the side effects that give people the impression that people with mental illness are mentally impaired in some way and unable to function normally. These are effects of medication though, and as with Stroke victims the person is still well aware of what is going on around them. Drooling at night can be excessive and result in saturated pillows. Strangely, although suffering from drooling, the person can also suffer from a <span style="font-weight: bold;">dry mouth</span> at the same time – not just excessive thirst, but a throat so dry that one cannot swallow their food properly. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I actually thought Mr Man would choke to death during dinner, or he began vomiting because of food stuck in his throat.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">* Bed wetting.</span> At one time Mr Man was wetting the bed up to four times a night due to his medication, but then he was in bed more than usual as well – <span style="font-weight: bold;">sleeping up to 20 hours</span> a day/night. Medication can make a person excessively tired and sleepy, and make them <span style="font-weight: bold;">unable to think clearly</span> when they are awake.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">* Jerky movements and twitching.</span> This has resulted in Mr Man dropping cups and plates, falling down stairs, and stumbling into the path of moving traffic. One time we were in a restaurant and his arm jerked suddenly whilst he was cutting his food and his plate went flying across the room!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">* Shaking.</span> Being unable to even write with a pen.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">* Nightmares every night</span>, so real and so frightening that they caused him to shout in his sleep and wake sobbing.<br /><br />* The final straw for Mr Man was the <span style="font-weight: bold;"> excessive weight gain</span> – the kind that cannot be controlled through diet and exercise. Anti-psychotic medications can interfere with the body’s metabolism and cause weight gain and high cholesterol, which of course increases the person’s risk of diabetes and heart disease.<br /><br />* These medications can also cause <span style="font-weight: bold;">infertility</span> in men (I don’t know about women) and I recall Seaneen reporting <span style="font-weight: bold;">hair loss</span> due to one of her medications.<br /><br />The list goes on and on. How would you feel about taking these medications? Can you imagine suffering all of these side effects at the same time? How many other illnesses require medication that makes the patient feel so ill and in fact, in the long term reduces their life expectancy?<br /><br /><br />But why stop taking medication without discussing other options with the doctor first?<br /><br />In Mr Mans case, taking Clozaril appeared to be the most affective drug for him – it’s only when he started taking Clozaril that he began to gain insight into his illness. He felt that if he tried to explain that he didn’t want to take it anymore he would be criticised for his decision and forced to take it anyway. I suppose that is no surprise – that is what past experiences had taught him. Thankfully Mr Man has a very understanding and supportive psychiatrist now, who encourages Mr Man to take an active and informed role in the choice of treatments he is given, but this isn’t the case for everyone and many fear a hospital admission if they refuse to comply.<br /><br />So what is the answer?<br /><br />Clearly patients need to be properly supported if they are struggling to cope with a medication regime, whether that is because the voices are telling them not to take it, or simply because they need help to remember which tablets to take at which time. Some patients find it beneficial to have their drugs administered through an injection, so that they don't have to worry about taking tablets each day.<br /><br />It may not be possible to eliminate all side effects, but those prescribing medication can take steps to help reduce them. Each medication has a therapeutic level – beyond that dose the medication won’t become more effective but side effects will increase. The doctor needs to find that level, which can be difficult because it’s likely to be different in each person. They don’t have to grope completely in the dark though – for Clozaril at least, the doctor can determine if the therapeutic level has been reached through a blood test. (I don’t know if this is the case for other medications – maybe someone in the know could help me out with this?)<br /><br />Even without the benefit of knowing the therapeutic dose for each medication, a doctor can help to reduce the side effects by combining medications. Of course a good knowledge of which medications work well together is important. How does this help? Each medication works differently and has different side effects, but hopefully produces the same result; therefore, lower doses of two different anti-psychotic medications will hopefully work just as well but with fewer side effects than a high dose of one drug.<br /><br />Other therapies can also be used in conjunction with medication, which again would hopefully reduce the need for higher doses. CBT seems to be working quite well for Mr Man at the moment, and the value of taking part in hobbies that he enjoys has been immeasurable. It took time to reach a level of health where these other interventions were of use to Mr Man, but it was worth persisting.<br /><br /><br />In conclusion, I would say that it is a mistake to demonise patients who stop taking their medication - rather, I would like to know what measures were set in place to encourage or help them to continue.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-6453260993734132232009-02-13T17:57:00.004+00:002009-02-13T20:28:29.142+00:00Fundamentals of Mental Health NursingToday I received my copy of the new book <a href="http://www.oup.com/uk/catalogue/?ci=9780199547746">"Fundamentals of Mental Health Nursing"</a>, edited by Victoria Clarke and Andrew Walsh, and published by <a href="http://www.oup.com/">Oxford University Press</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">About the book</span><br />The cover of the book reveals that it "Covers all the core topics in [the] pre-registration nursing curricular" and that it is an "Innovative patient-centred and case-based approach to Mental Health Nursing".<br /><br />Written primarily by mental health nurses, it is intended as an introductory text for students studying to become mental health nurses. Rather than being a text book full of information for the student to memorise, it uses real life and fictional scenario's to explain how nursing skills can be applied, and to enable the student to develop their own skills.<br /><br />The book includes sample care plans, references, recommended further reading, and useful web addresses, as well as experiences from real "service users" and carers. It also comes with a free online resource centre, providing video clips to demonstrate the application of theory, quizzes, an interactive glossary, and sample CV's.<br /><br />Apart from the fact that it contains a full page experience written by me (woohoo!), the book smells nice, which I think is a perfectly logical reason to buy the book. Oh, and the fact that if you're studying mental health it will probably help with that as well. I also think it may be a useful tool for anyone who is caring for a "service user" for many reasons, not least of all because it explains various jargon and contains many links to the websites of organisations that offer support for both sufferers and carers. Although not an avid reader, I will try to work my way through this book, inhaling each page as I go. The discussion points are likely to raise interesting topics for blog posts.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">About the editors</span><br />Victoria has worked as a mental health nurse for 26 years, and within nurse education for the past 17 years. Her current post is Head of Division/Director of Quality (Mental Health) at Birmingham City University.<br /><br />Andrew is a senior lecturer at Birmingham City University where he teaches pre-registration mental health nurses. He previously spent over 20 years working in a variety of mental health care settings. I don't know why, but I always imagined him to be younger than that. Anyway, he seems to be a very nice man and he also contributes to a fairly new <a href="http://blogs.bcu.ac.uk/mentalhealth/">mental health nursing blog</a> as well as writing his own <a href="http://tudorstuff.wordpress.com/">hobby blog</a> about Tudor history, although I'm sure he's not <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> old! I'm not sure if the mental health blog will be as punchy as Mental Nurse in it's approach, but if you pop along you may find a bourbon biscuit or two.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-47736265560603447612009-02-06T18:25:00.006+00:002009-02-06T19:20:21.764+00:00Some UpdatesAfter looking back through my posts I realise I haven't provided an update since July! Where does all the time go?<br /><br />Back in July I had written that after nearly five years of taking Clozaril, Mr Man had stopped taking this medication suddenly and without warning, because he had had enough of the side effects. Once I realised what had happened he needed to have his Abilify increased and was also prescribed Quetiapine.<br /><br />He remained on Quetiapine for about six weeks, until he finally decided he'd had enough of those side effects too. At least he made his intentions known this time, and actually, I thought it was good to see that he had a new found confidence and was taking control of how he wanted to be treated. His refusal to take these medications was in no way fuelled by any delusions, which is what distinguished these events from previous ones. He was able to reason logically and although recognising that he needed medication, he didn't want to take these particular ones.<br /><br />He continued to do really well on Abilify alone, and the change in him was amazing. For all those years he had taken Clozaril, and we believed this was the best medication for him, and yet we didn't realise just how ill it was making him. Once he stopped taking the Clozaril the voices worsened slightly, but he felt - and still does - that the benefits far outweighed the slight worsening of symptoms. I will write more about this in depth next time, as I feel that people greatly underestimate just what mental health patients have to go through as regards these side effects, and then criticise them for ceasing medication.<br /><br />Due to the worsening of the voices it was decided that now would be a good time to begin CBT, specifically to help Mr Man to cope with them. I think this was a good time for Mr Man, because although the voices had worsened, his insight was still good and he was thinking much clearer. I'm not sure if this would have benefited him when he was delusional as the focus is very much on questioning the voices and answering back.<br /><br />He was still uncomfortable with the idea of having to see a psychologist, which of course would have been another new person involved in his care, so his Occupational Therapist, Sandra, has taken on the task. I must say, although we were unsure of her at the start, she has been very supportive of Mr Man over the past six months. Mr Man has felt able to open up to her and feels that she really understands - so rare, yet so important. She has also looked into things for him that he is interested in doing which he would never have been able to cope with before, such as taking exams for example.<br /><br />So, that is the update so far. Although we have to continue to maintain a balance of what Mr Man can cope with, he is doing much better than previously, especially as he is more mentally alert and able to occupy himself. He even coped with going to a gathering of my family over the holidays, which he was actually looking forward to! I can't even remember how many years it has been since that has happened! Eight maybe? He was a little worried that the kids would be shy of him but they played with him as easily as if they had seen him every week.<br /><br />So things are definitely looking up. And I have even begun watering my plants again, which apparently is a sign that my depression is lifting!<br /><br />I will post more soon on side effects and other reasons why people stop taking their medications, and the huge changes in Mr Man since he stopped taking Clozaril.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-11187746769793664612009-01-24T02:11:00.004+00:002009-01-24T02:48:19.352+00:00CBT to be used in SchoolsFirstly, let me apologise to anyone who is waiting for a reply to an email or a blog comment - I <em>will</em> reply, I just can't say when at the moment.<br /><br /><br />I've read in the news tonight/this morning (depending on if you have slept yet or not, which I haven't) that the government is to fund a trial of CBT in schools in Bath, Bristol, Nottingham, and Swindon. Although some may doubt the effectiveness of CBT, this to me seems to be a positive step forward for many reasons:<br /><ul><li>The pupils will fill in a questionnaire to assess their mood and to pick up on any signs of depression. For many youths, this means they may get help a lot sooner than they would normally.</li><li>It also removes from them the daunting task of having to ask for help.</li><li>Hopefully it will mean that depression will be discussed openly and become less stigmatised.</li><li>It may even lead to early recognition of other, more serious, mental illnesses.</li><li>If group CBT is successful, that's obviously a good thing. And it could teach youths valuable coping strategies for the future.</li><li>If later questionnaires prove that the CBT has been unhelpful for some, then I presume they would be referred for other forms of treatment - again, possibly earlier than they would have been normally.</li></ul><br />And we all know that early treatment often means better success rates.<br /><br />Whether they decide that CBT is an effective treatment or not, I hope questionnaires and discussions about depression and other mental health problems continues in schools. Surely this can only be a good thing? What are your views?<br /><br />Full news report <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7846578.stm">here</a>.Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-14077620400817003152008-12-17T15:22:00.005+00:002008-12-18T05:27:13.581+00:00I Can't Think of an Apt Title Either...I really don't know if I should link to this post or just try to forget that I ever read it or that it was even written. I can't bring myself to reproduce it in full on this blog.<br /><br /><em>*Mr Mans Wife stares at the screen for a while wondering what to write*</em><br /><br /><br />Umm... so here's <a href="http://www.mentalnurse.org.uk/index.php/2008/12/14/i-cant-think-of-an-apt-title/">the link</a>.<br /><br /><br /><em>Edit: Seaneen over at Pole to Polar has covered this topic too, and she has come up with <a href="http://thesecretlifeofamanicdepressive.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/pseudoscience/">a great title!</em></a>Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33615081.post-69588372321524093802008-12-11T02:53:00.002+00:002008-12-11T03:31:38.694+00:00StillIt's been five years this month since the last time Mr Man was in hospital. Over those years Mr Man has gradually improved and there are things he can cope with now that he couldn't cope with back then - simple things, like answering the door when someone knocks. He still has his off days, but he seems to have improved even more since he stopped taking his Clozaril and had his Abilify increased back in July, simply because he is more able to occupy his mind now that he doesn't feel so drugged.<br /><br />He's not been feeling very good for the past couple of days though. He tries to carry on as normal if he has plans to go somewhere, but the rest of the time he tends to sleep more to try to escape the voices.<br /><br />Tonight I heard him moving around in the bathroom more than usual. Despite the fact that it has been five years since he last cut himself, I found myself rushing up the stairs to make sure he was alright. I <strong><em>still</em></strong> worry that this will happen, even after all this time. Will I <em><strong>ever</strong></em> be able to let go of <a href="http://the-wife-of-a-schizophrenic.blogspot.com/2008/07/over-protective.html">the trauma of the past</a>?Mr Mans Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02794499533315461733noreply@blogger.com12